Therapists Say Tough Love Parenting Isn’t Supposed To Be Tough

Disciplining children is a daunting responsibility for parents, even more so for foster parents when the child is not biologically theirs. People often associate discipline with punishments; however, this should not be the case. According to therapists, a child who has experienced abuse, neglect, and trauma can manifest emotional and behavioral issues. Many children lack the necessary skills in problem-solving, coping, and emotion regulation. Foster parents have the responsibility to teach children proper behavior and new talents with positive discipline.

Tough Love

You might have probably heard of tough love and how parents use this simplified approach to discipline their unruly kids. But what is tough love? Tough love is imposed on children to show them that punishments are for their good. It makes use of consequences and boundaries to teach them to take responsibility for their actions. However, imposing tough love or negative punishments on children who have gone through abuse and neglect may worsen their behavior.

Certain behaviors stem from past experiences. A foster parent needs to understand the kids’ complicated past and its effect on them. For example, a child lies not to deceive parents maliciously but to protect himself from being hit. Parents need to practice tough love that is not harsh but is affectionate and empathetic. Positive discipline will take every ounce of patience, love, and understanding foster parents have got.


Tough Love To Avoid

  • Corporal Punishment

Corporal punishment has been a widely debated topic on child discipline. Numerous regulating agencies have prohibited it because acts of physical punishments can deepen the child’s emotional wounds.

  • Lengthy Time-outs

Sometimes parents give misbehaving kids a time-out for a week or longer. This punishment is not particularly useful for younger children. Further isolating foster children may not work well.  The child needs an explanation as to why he is grounded. The time-out needs to be carried out in short amounts of time only. We’re talking minutes. After the timeout, carry on as though the bad behavior never happened.

Positive Discipline Tips To Follow

  • Positive Reinforcements

Foster children need to feel comfortable, safe and supported in their new home. Celebrating or merely acknowledging their good behavior can ease them in. Importantly, a consistent practice can influence the child to repeat the right response.

  • Time-In

The opposite of time-out is a time-in. When a child has performed unwanted behavior, parents need to engage with the child. Communicating with the child allows parents to uncover the reason behind the action as well as correct it.

  • Grandma’s Rule Of Discipline

Parents usually use an authoritarian voice and negative consequences when telling kids what to do. Grandma, on the other hand, gives them positive incentives. Changing how you phrase requests have been proven effective in dealing with difficult children. In the case of a child who refuses to eat vegetables, instead of threatening them, parents should say, “If you finish your vegetables, you can go and play.”

Parents may also approach children by asking them what they want to do. They can ask, “Do you want cabbage soup or pumpkin soup?” This simple act gives foster children a sense of control to assert themselves healthily.


  • Teach Them Emotions

Foster children may harbor a lot of frustrations and emotions. When faced with an awkward situation, they do not know how to manage their feelings and end up lashing out. Parents can step in and teach children about what they are feeling and how they can appropriately tame these feelings. You can do this by regularly asking your child how their day went and how this made them feel.

  • Redirection

Children have short attention spans. This technique often works for younger children. Foster parents can redirect their child’s frustration by taking them to a new environment. If they are mad about their toys or playmates, parents can take them somewhere else to redirect their attention.  It also works with stopping unwanted behavior. If the child is too rough with their toys, parents can redirect his attention by asking him to do chores together.


Foster parents must be consistent with giving reinforcements and consequences. Children then will differentiate good behavior from bad behavior much quickly. Making empty threats and promises will only further confuse the child.

Foster kids need the necessary discipline to lead healthy lives and build meaningful relationships in the future. Foster parents have to find positive approaches in teaching children life skills and instilling discipline, no matter how difficult it may be. Tough love may entail consequences. However, focusing on love more than being tough can enable parents to practice positive discipline with their foster children better.

Lose Belly Fat With These Tips Before You Get Depressed And Require Help From Psychologists


Food is the delicious creation of the heavens above that you should enjoy and be thankful for, but it is also one of the reasons why people get depressed and call a psychologist. After all, when you enjoy it so much, and its ‘traces’ show in your middle section, you can barely breathe out when in public for fear of love handles poking through your clothing.

Remember that chubbiness only suits toddlers and babies. If it has been decades since you have first started to crawl and talk, then it is high time for you to lose belly fat. Obesity, diabetes, hypertension, and other heart issues are just some of the diseases that you might eventually face. That is especially true if you keep on saying that you will do it tomorrow but not follow through.

Medicines and hospital bills come at a price higher than the rest of the ideas we have collected below. Read on about the best ways to lose belly fat.

Want It For Yourself

Some people make others’ criticisms and humiliating words the driving factor in their weight-reduction journey. Hence, the results are quite weak. If you want to get slim, do it for yourself, want it for yourself – not for anybody. Having the right conviction and knowing why you are going through this whole shenanigan can help you achieve your weight goals more efficiently.


Set Achievable Goals

Your ultimate dream is perhaps being able to squeeze into a size six after years of being in size 12. You should not give up easily if a month of exercising and watching your food intake only makes you a size smaller. We live in a real world where there are no fairy godmothers or genies to grant our wishes; we can solely rely on ourselves if we want to make dreams come true.

To avoid disappointments, you should set achievable goals for yourself. It sounds a bit cliché, but do not take more than what you can chew. This way, there is always something beautiful to look forward to, aside from having a flatter belly.

Do Not Skip Meals

Subjecting yourself to long periods of dieting every day without any sustenance resembles something called suicide. Apart from that, it makes your body stock up on fats, even more, considering its only energy source is your muscle tissues. So, do not skip your breakfast, lunch or dinner – especially breakfast, as that will forever be the most important meal during the day.

Start Eating Healthy

If you have been devouring greasy cheeseburgers, fries, pizzas, and other fatty foods for most of your life, it should not be too difficult for you to let go of them. Instead of dwelling on the saying, “you can only miss what you’ve already had,” view eating healthier meals as a new life adventure. You may be hesitant about it at first, but think of all the body-hugging dresses and the crop tops you can wear shamelessly as soon as you follow this bit of the best ways to lose belly fat!


Love The Fiber

Fibers are the best friends of the people who have a slow metabolism. It has been mentioned in scientific researches that by consuming at least 37 grams of fiber every day, your chances of successfully removing those excess fats can increase. You may want to keep these fiber-adding formulas in mind: 2 cups of broccoli, two apples, a cup of green peas, and a ½ cup of pinto beans.

Clean Your House Manually

Among the best ways to lose belly fat, using shortcuts is not one of them. While vacuum cleaners, floor polishers, and whatnots have been invented to make our cleaning process faster and more comfortable, you should lock them up for the time being. Instead, use cleaning tools like brooms and mops to tidy up your house. If your place is bigger than a 91-square-meter apartment, sweeping, mopping and polishing the entire home may take up most of your day. But do not feel so upset about it because house chores require you to move a lot. When you do so, you melt some of those bothersome fats.

Reds > Greens

Incorporating a higher amount of fruits and vegetables is one of the best ways to lose belly fat. Conversely, if you ever have to choose between red or green fruits, going for the former will bring you more fat-reducing benefits.

Understand that there is a more scientific reason why a particular fruit has a specific color. Papayas, peaches, oranges, and apricots have orange pigmentation due to the prevalence of beta-carotene. Green apples, green grapes, kiwifruits, and honeydews are in such color because of the presence of the cancer-fighting compounds called glucosinolates. Meanwhile, red apples, watermelons, strawberries, cherries, and grapefruits are red because of anthocyanins, which have the capability of controlling the exhibition of fats.

Sleep Properly

Good night sleep is another critical factor to help you lose belly fat. Most adults think that children only need 8 hours of sleep, but that’s where they are wrong at. Everyone needs it, specifically if you want to have that summer-ready body all the time.

Some studies show that when you only sleep for a couple of hours every night, your fat cells – not just your brain and body – experience fatigue and all sorts of disarray. You feel hungrier than when you have had complete rest the previous night; even when you inhale a heavy meal, you cannot seem to satisfy your stomach.


Final Thoughts

In truth, dieting is not for the faint at heart. You have to have a strong will to follow to lose belly fat because you may need to turn your back to your old eating habits. Nevertheless, after months of doing it and being able to wear any clothes you want, you can smile and say, “Hey, it’s worth it!”

How Reading Can Help You Cope With Anxiety

The feeling of anxiety is something people deal with in our daily lives. Others have to manage it every day. But regardless of how often it bothers you, we can all agree that it isn’t easy to deal with.

There are many ways to combat that anxious feeling. Altering your diet, exercising, and getting enough sleep are some of these ways. But did you know that reading can help as well?

A Study On Novels

A study on this was conducted back in 2013 at Emory University in the United States of America. Results found that reading novels were good for the brain. It enhanced brain connectivity and improved overall brain function.


The study also had another interesting finding. Brain activity associated with physical movements and sensations suggested that reading novels could transport the reader into the body of the main character. These feelings persisted long after the reader finished it.

Reading a great story can help us experience the hero or heroine’s journey. That’s a given. But who knew it could also improve our neural networks?

There’s a term used to describe this phenomenon. It was first coined in 1916 by a Presbyterian Minister named Samuel M. Crothers. He called the therapeutic effect brought about by books bibliotherapy. “Biblio” in Greek is “book.”

The Benefits Of Reading

Novels and the stories they weave bring about a lot of benefits. These benefits help in reducing anxiety and can also better the overall state of your mental health. So, why should you read regularly? Here are five reasons.


  • It helps in reducing your stress levels.


Stress is a good thing. It gives people a sense of urgency that convinces them to do their work. But too much of it is a bad thing. One way to manage your stress levels is to read.

Research has suggested that reading for a minimum of six minutes can reduce one’s stress by up to sixty percent. It eases both the physical and mental tensions that you feel.


  • It’s a healthy form of escapism.


The term “escapism” has a negative connotation. It makes it sound as if people are ignoring their problems and focusing on useless fantasies. Contrary to popular belief, it helps people a lot if practiced in moderation.

Reading books, especially novels, is one form of healthy escapism. Are you feeling overwhelmed by all your work or academic requirements? Why not pick up a book and be transported to another world for a while?


By doing this, you momentarily forget all of your current problems and get lost in a story. After that, you’ll be able to tackle what you need to do with a refreshed mind.

  • It gives you some perspective.

Characters in books go through a lot throughout the story. Many of them have beliefs and personal philosophies that could be different from ours. Reading through their journey and understanding their mental processes can be interesting. They can give you insights that you’d never get anywhere else. Acknowledging that there are many perspectives apart from your own is humbling.

Who knows? Maybe the solution to whatever problem you’re facing is in the book you’re reading. Shifting your way of thinking by adopting a new mindset can help you solve a problem in a way you never thought to before. It may also improve the quality of your life.

  • It can make you more compassionate to other people as well as to yourself.

Anxiety brings about a lot of other adverse side effects. It includes self-deprecation, feelings of inadequacy, and even shame. Getting rid of these feelings is not at all easy, but reading can help you work towards that.

Research suggests that reading can increase your level of empathy. It’s a skill that helps you understand what people are feeling. It gives you a solid grasp of the spectrum of emotions that humans experience. Empathy does not only apply to other people. It also applies to yourself. It can help you understand the emotions you’re feeling. By doing that, you’ll be able to go easier on yourself.

  • It physically relaxes you.

Anxiety as a mental disorder has physical symptoms such as increased blood pressure and heart rate. These symptoms tend to worsen the state of your mental health. Luckily, reading can help in alleviating these symptoms. Studies show that reading can lower one’s heart rate and ease muscle tensions. By relieving the physical symptoms of anxiety, reading helps you think more clearly.


And that’s five benefits brought about by reading. Who knew that a stack of bound paper on the table could bring about so much good?

Healthy Hobbies To Reduce Your Anxiety

It’s true that you can’t solve anxiety overnight. It can take months and even years of treatment to address this problem. However, there are also small changes in your life that you can make to help manage your worries. Here are some habits you should consider incorporating into your daily routine.

Cut Down On Caffeine


Coffee is an absolute “must” for many of us. However, the caffeine in our daily drink can be responsible for our anxiety. Those who don’t drink coffee aren’t safe either. Caffeine is also in tea, chocolate, and even ice cream. Having too much of those can also affect you negatively.

Thankfully, you don’t have to cut it out completely. You can reduce your caffeine intake by being more mindful of what and how much you drink or eat. Limit your coffee intake to about two cups a day or switch to black tea which has less caffeine.

Enjoy Some Quiet Time

When you suffer from anxiety, daily life can feel chaotic. You’re always worrying over past or future events that you forget to slow down and enjoy the present. One habit to help you lessen this feeling is stopping what you’re doing and enjoying some quiet time.

Find a perfect spot, close your eyes and focus on how you breathe. Clear your mind of anything other than breathing in and out. If you find your thoughts wandering, redirect it back to meditation.

Take Social Media Breaks

We tend to compare our lives to others’ when we spend too much time online, bringing us distress. There’s also anxiety from negative news that people share. Some people also worry about validation online, wanting their photos and posts to receive a lot of likes or attention.

Disconnect for at least a day every week. Turn off the Wi-Fi if you must. For extra help, you can even download an app that can block out these sites for a while. If you find that you can’t avoid Facebook and other websites, try to lessen your visits instead.

Clean Your Space


A cluttered mind can mimic your environment. Clear up your work area, bedroom, apartment or home. Take out the trash, sweep the floor, and find a proper place to keep your things. A clean house boosts your physical and mental health.

Similarly, take a hint from Marie Kondo and get rid of things that don’t make you happy. If something in your space reminds you of a negative experience, toss it out. You want your home to be a relaxing place where you feel safe from stress.

Similarly, the act of cleaning can be relaxing for many people. It gives us something to focus on something outside of our usual daily activities.

Enjoy Some Downtime

We sometimes become anxious because we feel like we always have to do something. Your planner and to-do list are full of activities that you have to tick off. However, it’s crucial for your mental health to have downtime. Your body was not meant to be always working.

Find something you enjoy doing. You could sit down with your loved ones and watch a movie. Have a Netflix and chill night with your significant other. Go out for a massage. Whatever you find relaxing, be sure to set aside time for them.

Write It Down

Sometimes, the best way to rid ourselves of anxiety is to let it out. However, not everyone is comfortable opening up to people. Similarly, there isn’t always someone available to listen to you. As an alternative, you can jot down what you’re worrying over. After you write it down, toss the paper out. It’ll feel cathartic and symbolic of getting rid of your anxiety for now.

Listen To Music


Playlists are a common thing on music-streaming sites today. You’ll find ones that people curate especially for a workout, for studying, and for relaxation. This trend is because music can affect your mood. So when you’re feeling anxious, reach for your phone and look for a playlist that can help calm you.


When it comes to anxiety, you can manage it by making small additions to your daily routine. These can include listening to music, spending five minutes of quiet time, remembering to have downtime, and distancing from social media. These small changes can seem small but can make a difference in your life. Try taking up some of these habits and keep your worries under your control

Why It Is Hard To Be Mentally Healthy Nowadays



Would you believe that the world we live in today is designed to kill us? For some reason, the goal of innovation has been secretly promoting health problems, both physical and psychological. It is somewhat contradictory to what humanity aimed for which is to make life easier and happier. Now, life is more like quicker. Maybe someone believed that short life is more meaningful especially when you spend it on pleasurable things, enjoying modern advancement. Read more

Understanding Panic Attack




The sudden surge of unpredictable and overwhelming fear is what we call a panic attack. It comes without warning and often happens without an apparent reason. Sometimes, the distressing bodily symptoms, where people somehow think are normal, accompany the condition. However, the panic attack is far more intense than being stressed out and pressured.


The Signs And Symptoms

The symptoms of panic attack are commonly related to physical discomforts, some of which are dizziness, lightheadedness, difficulty breathing, pounding heartbeat, trembling, sweating, shaking, choking, tingling fingers and toes, churning stomach, and chest pain. In unfortunate circumstances, those people with depression and anxiety disorders may suffer a terror that is almost paralyzing. The panic attack makes them lose control of themselves and exaggeratedly think about dying. There are hot flashes, sudden chills, acidity, diarrhea, and indigestion as well.

Most individuals experience occasions of panic attacks and sometimes seems to fear to have it in the future. This instance changes their behavior, emotional approach, and mental state. It affects their lives in a way that these signs take over their general well-being. Though panic disorder is not that dangerous or life-threatening, its persistent cycle of fear is what makes it terrifying. Having uncontrolled fear gives an idea that everything is seriously wrong. From there, people often lose control of their thoughts and actions.




Why Panic Attacks Occur

The primary reason why panic attacks happen is that people often misinterpret the utterly not detrimental but frightening signs and symptoms of anxiety. They usually don’t have the knowledge to identify the difference between reality and imagination. The lack of understanding locks individuals into a “fear of cycle” that negatively feeds mental illness and disorders.

It may seem that most people are well-informed about mental disorders, particularly panic attacks, but they are not. Only the exact and direct experience can create a connection through proper intervention and resolution. That’s because the brain receives the significant reaction on a particular moment of pursuing the start of the recovery. However, not experiencing it doesn’t mean people should ignore its explained information. Though the steps of understanding it are quite simple because it is related to anxiety and depressive disorders, some people are still confused with its definite description.


The Intervention

In terms of knowing what to do with the condition, there are some ways to address it. Therapy and medication enable a controlled step-by-step procedure that creates a gradual result. Some methods help motivate individuals to predominantly process their recovery progress instead of throwing themselves into the pit.




Most individuals who bravely face their fear are doing a great job. Though it may seem a little bit harsh sometimes and people can’t seem to bear with it all the time, the idea of wanting to get better is always a good choice. Since all of them want to get their life back to normal, they’ll try to do things to get rid of their fear. But first, they should realize that learning to cope with anxiety or panic attack is different from completely freeing themselves from it.

What Exercising Does To Your Skin


The idea of working out invokes mixed feelings in people. Whereas some perk up in excitement whenever they enter the gyms, others dread every moment they need to exert physical effort.

Quite predictably, the latter is the more generic reaction of individuals toward fitness. Many dabble in it because the doctor said so, or they want a slimmer waist for a special occasion. When things return to normal, however, they tend to stop exercising, which only generates adverse outcomes.

In case you’re guilty of doing the same thing, don’t worry – you can still start afresh. You may

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